My Mortal Phoenix
by CloudMistDragon555
Summary: The first fanfic I wrote that was not seriously written. This one is a parody of "My Immortal", a fanfic that I had no idea would prove to be an inspiration in my story writing.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: This fanfic is a parody of the notoriously bad fanfic, "My Immortal". This is JUST for lulz, and is NOT intended to be taken seriously in any way whatsoever. Trust me.

Episode 1: The Rising Flames: Introduction of Ditzy Mary Doo

Hi, my name is Mary Demonic Wingz Doo. I have demon wings on my back (that's how I got my name), and I am epic wins (get it?). I am sixteen years old, and I'm a hardcore punk goth demon. Two years ago, my parents sent me to boarding school because I was probably too emo for them, the bastards. At school, there's a lot of posers who have an unusual habit of looking at me strange for some reason, but they don't bother me because I just stick my tongue out at them. They're all just a bunch of ridiculous idiots who think they're better than me just because they get good grades, while I cut most of my classes. Thankfully, the teachers don't really care about what I do because a lot of them probably have headaches, and the stores around here are almost always out of Nurofen. I may not pass school, but that's fine with me because who would want to go to a college with a bunch of preps and posers anyway? Besides, I already have a job at Hot Topic writing lengthy advertisements for the clothes that they sell. It's a fun job full of epic wingz, the only downside is that all of the employees there think that my wings are fake, which is so NOT true you motherfuckers!

In case you don't understand, I'll explain. You see, I am a Mary Sue (in case you couldn't tell), and something very strange happened to me a while back. Three months ago, I got very sad while I was in my bedroom watching depressing Tim Burton movies like "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and listening to gothic songs like "The Anthem" by Good Charlotte and "American Idiot" by Green Day, so I decided that I would commit suicide and die like a true goth. I cut my legs with a razor and I stuck a steak knife into my heart, but I didn't die. Instead, I saw a fire emerge in the air, and everything went black. When I woke up, I felt a strange pain in my back. I turned my head around and gasped when I saw two red wings on my back. I also saw a bird fly around my room and turn to a pile of ash on the floor. At first, I was astonished, but soon, I was able to deduce what had happened with my extensive knowledge of mythology. I knew that the Greek god of the underworld Hades had brought me back to life and transformed me into a demon, which I was very happy about. Anyways, now that I've introduced myself, it's time to move on to my everyday life! Prepare yourselves for fun and gothic excitement!

One day, I was walking outside the school. It was overcast, and a nerdy poser named Twilight was looking at me strange with her best derp face. I stuck out my tongue and blew a raspberry at her. I soon regretted doing so though, because standing right next to her was...Justin! Justin was a blonde-haired shy guy who I had been analyzing carefully for a while. Despite the fact that he liked hanging out with posers like Twilight, I was interested in him because he looked so gothic and hot. He was so awesome that I had even given him an original nickname, Midnight, because of the dark complexion in his face and personality (and it sounds a lot better than Twilight, don't you think?).

"Oh, hi Midnight." I said to him with a wide smile on my face.

Midnight didn't reply. He simply waved at me and walked away. I walked back to the school with joy, excited that I had finally managed to say something to him.

End of Chapter One.


	2. Chapter 2

Episode 2: Down to the Sound: Enter the Cutting Rapper

Later that night, I walked back to my room snickering like Pee-Wee Herman, like in that Tim Burton movie "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure". I went to sleep in my bed, still excited about finally talking to Midnight. I almost had an orgasm in my sleep as I fantasized in a wet dream about how he looked like a gothic version of that pemo Justin Bieber. If you don't know what a pemo is, it's a combination of the words "poser" and "emo", and it means a poser who's trying to be a cool emo. When I woke up, I got dressed in some tacky goffick clothes, and put on some makeup. It was Saturday, and I had the day off from school (for once). Half an hour later, I came out of my room, and saw someone coming down the hallway. It was...my BF, MC Emo Cutter!

MC Emo Cutter was a brown-haired girl that I had befriended after her parents sent her to boarding school. She was a gothic rapper who loved listening to Ludacris' and Em n em's (Get it, cause I dig the candy) music. She loved writing songs based off of depressing music, and was trying to write a gothic version of the song "Move Bitch" by Ludacris, and a rap version of "The Chronicles of Life and Death" by Good Charlotte. Her biggest encouragement for doing this was white rapper Jon la Joie's single "WTF Collective", which gave her the idea that anyone could be a rapper if they wanted to be one, and also inspired her to call herself MC Emo Cutter.

"What up, my homie?" MC greeted me in a gangsta tone of voice.

"Nothing much." I replied.

"Yeah right," MC said, sharing her fifty cents with me (get it, cause she's a rapper?). "I saw you trying to steal first base with Justin yesterday."

"No, I wasn't," I responded defensively. "I barely even know the guy."

"Whateva," MC said. "Anyways, there's something that I think you'd like to know. Linkin' Park is having a concert in town at 6 o' clock tomorrow evening!"

"Oh my fucking Hades," I replied in shock. "They're one of my favorite bands!"

"I know," MC said with a smile on her face. "That's why I've prepared a rap about Linkin Park just for you!"

"Really?" I responded.

"Yeah," she said back. "It's Linkin Park, and they're really bad! The songs that they sing are really rad!"

"That was amazing!" I commented.

"Just remember, it wasn't the best rap ever made, it was just a tribute." she said, quoting Tenacious D. "Anyways, I'd go to the concert, but I don't have a lot of money on me, and I need time to practice my music. Why don't you go ask your boyfriend Midnight if he wants to come with you instead?"

"Oh you sly little whore," I said as I giggled, knowing she was just joking. She gave me a good idea though, so I decided to go to Midnight's room and ask him if he wanted to come with me to the concert. I knocked on the door, and he answered.

"Uh, hi Mary." Midnight said quietly as he opened the door.

"Hey, Midnight." I said happily.

"You can just call me Justin." he responded.

"Whatever," I said back. "Anyways, Linkin Park is performing in town tomorrow. Do you want come with me?"

"Sure, why not?" he replied shyly.

"Epic wingz!" I shouted. "Meet me outside the school at 5:00 p.m, I'll drive us there. You bring fifty dollars to cover for the entrance fee, and I'll bring the special entertainment just in case!"

"Um alright, but what do you mean by "entertainment"?" Midnight asked curiously.

"You'll see." I said excitedly as he closed the door, and I went back to my room.

End of Chapter Two.


	3. Chapter 3

Episode 3: Breaking the Unusual Habit: Mary Doo's First Midnight

DISCLAIMER: This fic is written for the lulz, and nothing but the lulz. It is NOT meant to be a model of a great (or even a decent) literature, nor is it meant to be taken seriously in any way.

The next night was the night of the Linkin Park concert, and I was so excited that I cut one of my armpits with a razor. I watched some gothic TV shows like "House" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" while eating some chicken strips doused in Hawaiian punch instead of ketchup (I was pretending that it was demon blood, get it?). When I finished eating, I went into my closet and grabbed a metal box that was shaped like a heart, like in that song by Nirvana, "Heart Shaped Box". It was where I kept all of my drugs, such as speed, LSD, and crack. I remember when I was little, my parents told me to say no to drugs, but they were preps, so they can go smoke a joint. My favorite way to get high was to first take some LSD, and then take some speed mixed with Rainbow Nerds. I put the LSD, the speed, and the Rainbow Nerds in my bag (in case you couldn't tell, this was the special entertainment I told Midnight about earlier) and I also put my iPod in my pocket, just in case I got bored at the concert.

At 5:00 p.m, I was outside the school when Midnight came. We were going to drive to the concert in my Chevrolet, like in that song "Interior Crocodile Alligator" by Chip tha Ripper. The license plate said "LIK 269" on the back (get it, cause 269 ends with 69?).

"Hello Mary." Midnight said as he walked up to the car.

"Hi Midnight." I said back.

"My name is-forget it, call me whatever you want," he said wearily. "I brought the fifty dollars."

"Alright!" I exclaimed as we got into the car. "Don't worry, Midnight, I'll make this night worth your while."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked curiously.

"Open your mouth and shut your eyes, because you're going to get a big surprise." I said sweetly as I opened my bag.

"Alright..." Midnight replied as he did so. I grabbed the bottle of speed I kept in my bag, opened it up, and I poured fifteen tablets of it in Midnight's mouth. I figured that was the correct dosage because he was fifteen years old.

"Yabbaabbadadaaa..." Midnight muttered as the tablets slid down his throat. He started flapping his arms around, and his legs started jittering.

"Is it good?" I asked with interest. I could tell he liked it, because he answered my question by bobbing his head back and forth. I decided to take some drugs too before we left, so I took some LSD, and ate some speed mixed with Rainbow Nerds. As I did this, I didn't notice, but Midnight took off his seatbelt. He tried to get out of the car, but his hands were so jittery, that he couldn't even grip onto the handle. Suddenly, he bobbed his head again, smashed it against the door, and fell unconscious.

Anyways, as I got high, I started seeing things. The car began to float above the ground, and as I rolled down the windows to let the breeze roll in, a bunch of flickering lights started coming towards me. Then, all of a sudden, I was at the Linkin Park concert, where they were performing the song, "Breaking the Habit" in front of a crowd of people. I started dancing and moshing to myself to the music, when out of nowhere, a small figure that looked like a chicken walked up to me. He was wearing a black mask across his face, and I could tell he was a pemo because he was wearing a Hannah Montana T-shirt that was so large, it covered his feet. He started shouting "cock-a-doodle-doo", and began reciting the tune of the song "Never Say Never" by Justin Bieber. As the crowd turned to him in confusion, the chicken pulled off his mask. I gasped. It wasn't a chicken after all, it was...a dodo!

"Oh my Hades, NOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried as the dodo pulled out his Blackberry. "Linkin Park has been outlawed, and that preppy dodo is going to call the police! They're going to take my drugs away!"

Meanwhile, that poser Twilight was walking up to the car. It was 7:00 at night, and she had been trying to call Midnight on his phone for an hour.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Twilight yelled as she peered through the open window and saw the drugs and Midnight's unconscious body.

"You'll never take my entertainment away, coppers!" I exclaimed as I grabbed the Nerds.

"Taste the rainbow, MOTHERFUCKA!" I shouted as I threw the box of Rainbow Nerds at that nerdy dork Twilight, and started the car.

I drove the car away from the school as fast as I could while the blasting the song "Fuck tha Police" by N.W.A. Once I thought I had escaped from the police, I turned the car around. But I didn't drive the car back to the school, instead I accidentally drove the car into...A TREE!


	4. Chapter 4

Episode 4: Score with Silence: Mary's Passion of Midnight

DISCLAIMER: This fanfic is written for the lulz. Nothing in this lit is meant to be taken seriously, nor is it meant to be a model of a good fic.

I tried to slam on the brakes, but it was too late. The car collided with the tree, and there was a fiery explosion, like something you'd see in that gothic movie "Die Hard" (get it? It's gothic because it has the word "die" in the title, and I like death). All of a sudden, everything went black, and I started to fear that Midnight and I were dead, which I wouldn't be happy about. But just then, I woke up and the car was perfectly intact. I gasped. It was like something out of that emo Stephen Spielburg movie, "Poltergeist"! I searched around for my drugs, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I looked out of the car window, and in the distance, I saw Midnight walking down the dirt path. He was dressed in nothing but his boxers and his shirt. I gasped when I saw that he had demon wings coming out of his back!

"Midnight, what the fuck are you doing?" I asked angrily as I got out of the car and slammed the door.

He stopped dead in his tracks (no, he didn't die if that's what you're thinking, even though death is awethum).

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked impatiently.

Just then he turned, and faced me. I looked in his eyes, and gasped again (I tend to temporarily lose my breath every time I see something that's amazing, in case you couldn't tell) when I saw that his eyes revealed so much pain and misery. I suddenly grew very happy (I'm a goth, so negative emotions make me have an orgasm), so I jumped on him, and started kissing him all over. I suddenly realized that after everything I had been through tonight with him that we were meant for each other. I felt very horny, so I took off his boxers, and I took off my clothes. I put his ding-a-ling in my Black Velvet Underground, and we started doing it for the first time. Midnight didn't say anything the whole time we did it though. It made me feel like I was having sex with a dead body, but that's cool, because I adore death in case you haven't figured that out yet.

"Oh Midnight..." I flirtily said sexily. Having sex was so arousing, that even the sound of my own voice was getting me head. It was everything my other punk goth BF, "Dark D'emonic Slit" said it would be like. She had told me that she already had sex with her boyfriend before, while blasting the song "You're Going to Go Far, Kid" by the Offspring (get it?) the entire time. However, my arousing sex time with Midnight was about to end, when someone came walking down the path.

"What the hell are you doing, you motherfuckers?" shouted the person.

I gasped sexily. It was...the principal, Dumb Billy Dork!

End of Episode Four.


	5. Chapter 5

Episode 5: Love and Poetry: Silence, You Snoopy Bard!

DISCLAIMER: This fic is written for the lulz, and is not meant to be taken seriously in any way.

In case you don't understand what's going on right now, Dumb Billy Dork's real name is Bill Dore, I just called him that because I thought he was dumb. Also, the only reason he swore at us was because he had a headache, and he was mad because he was too stupid to realize that we weren't doing anything wrong. You may think I'm a slut, but I'm really not, we were just making poetry. Anyways, Dumb Billy Dork made us put our clothes back on. We started walking back to the school, while I kept trying to convince him that we weren't breaking major school rules or doing anything wrong, but he was too stubborn to listen.

"You snoopy dogs!" he yelled at us furiously.

At that point, I stop talking. He was just too immature to appreciate what we were doing as a beautiful thing. Midnight didn't seem to care though, he didn't speak a word the whole time. He was as silent and emotionless as Arnold Schwarzenegger in that gothicly romantic movie "The Terminator" (it's gothic because the thrill of death is romantic). Anyways, when we came back to the school, Dumb Billy Dork took us to his office where his supervisors Professor Sniper and Professor McGoonyucall were waiting.

"Were they carrying drugs like we were told?" Professor Sniper asked.

"Worse," Dumb Billy Dork replied, "they were having sex and making inappropriate poetry near the school grounds!"

"What?" Professor McGoonyucall exclaimed. "That is a direct violation of the most important rule of making poems in this school! How could you do such a thing, you thick dumbbells?"

"It isn't inappropriate!" I responded in defense. "We were just expressing ourselves through creative poetry!"

"Shut up, you spoony bard!" Professor Sniper shouted. "Why the hell would you want to express yourself that way?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!" I bellowed, knowing that the only way to get out of this situation was to confess my unrelenting love for Midnight. It appeared to have worked, for the teachers didn't respond with animosity.

"Drat, we've been foiled by the power of love!" McGoonyucall whispered into Sniper's ear. "What should we do?"

"For now, you can go to your rooms," said Sniper. "Mr. Dore, we can not argue when love is present in the debate. Let's just let this go."

"...Fine," Dumb Billy Dork reluctantly agreed. "You may leave now, lecherous poets, for this conversation is over."

With that, we left the office. As Midnight walked back to his room, I started to get worried about him, so I decided to say something.

"Midnight, are you okay?" I asked with concern as he turned around and faced me.

"Yes." he said in a robotic voice. His face was pale and still emotionless, like in that song "Emotionless" by Good Charlotte.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened tonight." I said remorsefully. "I wonder who told Dumb Billy about the drugs though, and why I was never able to find them, even though we survived that accident."

"Mary...," Midnight replied. "I don't think it was that we survived. When the explosion woke me up, I saw a fiery bird fly towards me. I couldn't believe it, but it looked like a...phoenix."

"Really?" I said as I gasped (I am an expert at multitasking, in case you couldn't tell).

"Mary, I forgive you, do not worry," Midnight assured. "I think I need to remain close to you."

I gasped again. Midnight was now in love with me!

"YES!" I shouted triumphantly, as I rushed back to my room. I was now more close to Midnight than ever, especially now that he looked just like L Lawliet from that gothic manga "Death Note", disregarding the blonde hair and everything. And as I went to sleep that night, I dreamed about the awesome poetry I would write and share with Midnight and my friends the next day.

But little did I know that that was only the beginning of the many insane things I would experience in my gothic life...

End of Episode Five.


	6. Chapter 6

Special Episode: The Melancholy of Bronies: Mary's Magical Misinterpretation

NOTE: This was a "special episode" that I wrote back in the winter. Out of pony love, your friend CMD wrote an episode outside of the canon about your favorite emo girl portraying MLP: FIM as something gothic despite not being well-versed in knowledge of the actual show.

Prologue

One day, I had to talk to my teacher after English class. She wasn't happy with me at all, for she was one of the few teachers in the school who actually got mad at me for the things I did.

"You hopeless hippy!" she shouted. "You are failing English!"

"Yeah right!" I exclaimed sarcastically. I knew my English teacher was angry at me because she was a prep, not because she had a headache. If she was a goth, she wouldn't have cared, because goths don't care about anything.

"Mary, you're failing because your writing skills are implausible!" she yelled as she pulled out some papers. "These past few essays that you've written have been virtually unreadable!"

"Stop flaming my work!" I protested. "Have you even read the papers?"

"Of course, and they're so awful that they gave me a headache!" she shouted. "Not only is the subject matter you chose unsuitable, but the spelling is so bad that it looks like you didn't proofread at all! For example, in this paper about "How Preps are Paltry Compared to Goffik People", you spelled paltry as "poultry" in every part of the paper except for in the title sentence. Paltry is a word that means "of inferior quality", and poultry is a word that refers to dead bird flesh. How did you mix up two words that refer to two completely different terms?"

"I do not know what the hail you are talking about!" I replied defensively. "My spilling is finis!"

"Then can you explain to me why you spelled Edgar Allen Poe's name as "Edgarm Stalin Poet" in your interpretation of "The Raven", or "The Ravine" as you called it?" she argued. "And why you interpreted the story as an omen for death on all preps and posers to come?"

"Whatever!" I responded. "I thought it made the story better!"

"No it did not!" she exclaimed. "You don't just need good spelling and grammar to write an interpretation of someone's work Mary, you also need to interpret the author's true message properly! If you want to compensate for these poorly written essays and pass my classes, you're going to have to do a remedial assignment."

"Wait, why do I care about passing your class?" I questioned. "I don't need to get into college, it's full of preps who are obsessed with poser music, like Rebecca Black."

"Listen, you airheaded hipster!" she yelled at me in a condescending tone. "Your parents are the ones who sent you here! If they find out that you've been writing this drivel and not caring about your studies, I think they would have an appropriate punishment prepared for you when you dropped out and got sent home!"

"Well excuuuuussse me, princess!" I roared ferociously, knowing that an appropriate punishment would probably mean being tied to a chair and being forced to watch preppy movies like "Happy Feet" and listen to Avril Lavigne.

"Alright, what do I have to do for the exercise?" I asked curiously.

"You have to write an accurate interpretation of another person's work in the next three days," she explained. "That means proper spelling, and an essay that actually EXPRESSES the theme it was intended to express. Now get moving!"

"Fine, whatever." I agreed reluctantly as I walked out of the classroom. I was depressed because I had wanted to practice some depressing emo activities today, but instead I had to write a constructive essay!

-  
I was walking to my room when I saw Midnight in the hall. I decided that I may as well ask him for advice.

"Hi Enoby, are you okay?" Midnight asked me.

"No I'm not," I replied rudely, qouting that song "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance because I was frustrated. "I need some advice, what do you think?"

"What's wrong?" Midnight asked with concern.

"Well," I replied angrily, "I had to see my fucking English teacher after class and the fucking preppy princess told me that I have to write a fucking interpretation of some preppy fuck shit for a fucking remedial assignment that I don't want to fucking do, but if I don't fucking do it, then I'll have to be sent back to fucking home where I'll have to listen to fucking Avril Lavigne! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

"Watch your mouth!" shouted a voice from behind. It was...Twilight!

"What are you doing here, Twilight?" I asked curiously. "I was having a constructive conversation with my friend in case you couldn't tell!"

"I was walking down the hall when I overheard that you had to do a written interpretation for a remedial assignment," Twilight replied. "It turns out that I have a similar project to do in my class as well."

"You have to do a remedial assignment too?" I asked in a cheekily gothic voice. "What, did you skip math or something?"

"No, my project has nothing to do with numbers," she said half-heartedly. "I had already decided to do an interpretation on a TV show, and I'd be willing to help you if you promise to stop swearing like that in the halls."

"But what do you know about writing, Twilight?" I asked in a doubtful voice, not eager in accepting help from her. "You're just a little prep student."

"I may be a prep student..." Twilight replied. "...but I am also a prep student with high marks in her studies!"

"Whatever, I'll accept your help," I reluctantly complied. "What TV show are you writing about for your paper?"

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," she said with a sigh. "It's a good show, I promise you, and I've wanted to do an essay on it for quite a while."

I was skeptical to believe her, because that show sounded very 80's.

"Hey Midnight, have you seen that show before?" I asked him, hoping he would provide an honest answer.

"Yes." he said with a sigh.

"Is it gothic?" I asked.

"Uh...yeah." he said nervously.

"Alright, I believe you then, Twilight," I said, knowing Midnight was just being shy. "I'll write an interpretation on that show!"

"Okay..." Twilight responded with confusion. "But shouldn't you watch it first so that you understand it well? The other reason I'm writing a paper on it is because I understand the show well."

"Exactly," I said. "All you have to do is tell me what you know about the show, and I'll write my report based on that material."

"If you say so." she replied.

"Epic wingz!" I shouted. From the information Twilight gave me, I would finally be able to write a good gothic interpretation of the theme of this show.

End of Prologue.


	7. Chapter 7

The Melancholic Misinterpretation (The Essay)

The misinterpretation starts.

_"Dear Princess Teacher,_

_I hope you'll excuse me, but this paper is going to be great. It talks about a show called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" that deals with Mary Sues and really serious issues, so it's not my fault if the characters are too emo for you. If you flame, then you are a prep, so don't forget about that. Speaking of characters, let's focus mainly on them, since some of them are the 12 MS's (Mary Sue's) who cause all the serious issues in the show. First on the mic (geddit, it's a reference to my BF, MC Emo Cutter's favorite song) is..._

_...the main MS character, Twilight Spockle! Spockle is an alien from the preppy planet Twilight in outer space. When she was a baby, her parents, the only gothic people on planet Twilight, didn't want to live anymore, so they committed suicide by slitting their vital organs. Before they died, they sent Spockle to a gothically magical place on earth called Celestia to give her a chance at happiness. There, she was adopted by a gothic German woman named Ze Korean, who taught her "ze magiks". Still, feeling insecure and depressed about not having parents or an identity, she became an emo._

_She's also highly obsessively compulsive about taking care of business (emo activities, in case you couldn't tell) sometimes to the point where she vomits up blood if she doesn't get them done right. She is voiced by William Shatner, and looks just like Death the Kid from Soul Eater. The next MS is (see, I used a transition there)..._

_...her best friend, Applecrack! It turns out that Applecrack was a crack dealer who had lived with a family that farmed weed. Her parents commited suicide by taking an overdose of LSD, and her brother Big Macintosh (voiced by Ashleigh Ball) had to raise her. It turned out that he was actually the owner of the most successful computer and technology company in the town, a position he achieved using his "eeyup"-man skills. The technological shock and the death of her parents had impacted her life so much that she became gothic, and got addicted to cigarettes, martinis (geddit?), sake, and speed. She is voiced by Peter New, and looks just like Kitsune from Love Hina. The next MS is..._

_...Rare Jared Way! Rare Jared Way was a gothic fashion designer who made clothes for stores in the magical town of Luna. Jared also used to have a gothic boyfriend known as B'loody Mary Blue. He commited suicide when Rare accidentally gave him a preppy polo T-shirt for him to wear. He was so traumatized that he commited suicide by choking himself to death by smothering his face with the shirt in a suicidal manner (see, I used alliteration there). She felt so guilty and depressed about the incident that she became emo again, began breaking into other people's houses (mostly Applejack's) to steal their clothes, and converted to fascism._

_She is very sexy, masculine, has multiple personalities, and is bipolar, especially about what she wants to wear. She is voiced by Masako Nozawa, and looks just like Launch from Dragon Inert Ball (haha, I didn't make a cheap pun about her balls). The next MS is..._

_...Pimpy Pie! It turns out that Pimpy Pie was a very successful and hardcore pimp, who had made a living in the Velvet Underground world (geddit?) of prostitution. It turns out that her parents were pedophiliac perverts, and that her father had sexually harassed her. When she was a teenager, they committed suicide by contracting AIDS by having unprotected sex. She ended up on the streets (Celestia doesn't have financial programs for the needy because society basically sucks) but because she had a hot pink body, she became a stripper and made enough cash to get a place to live. She got so depressed over the ordeal though, that she became a gothic smooth criminal, and converted to neuroticism._

_She began to flirt with her ludder sexily, and then began to have sex with them flirtily. She has a big, crazy, Pinkie brain and everything, and liked to eat cupcakes when she put the moves on her subjects using her Pimpy-sense. She is voiced by Amy Lee, and she looks just like The Joker from Batman. The next MS is..._

_...Shy Sluttersly! It turns out that Shy was actually a sly prostitute who worked for Pinkie Pie! DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! When Shy was a nine year old girl, both of her parents died in a car crash when their car swerved off a cloud in the sky, and she was forced to eat bird food to survive. She had to spend four years in a jail cell though, because people thought she was insane, and Equestria locked her up because her fragile mind and hereditary diabetes (geddit, cause she is so sweet?) were dangerous to society. When she got out of the slammer, she went back to Cloudsdate. However, she had to move to a secret hideout in Celestia, because something terrible happened a year after she came back...Rainbow Dash and her homies Dumb Sweetie Bell and Shoops fired their rainbooms at her, and gang-rapped her (that meant they made her listen to horrible rap music, no offense MC Emo Cutter) as part of a morbid joke!_

_Anyways, later in the story, she tried to back in time using a time machine produced by Macintosh, but she failed miserably, and ended up becoming a prostitute for Pinkie in the future. She was so depressed and traumatized over all of these events of her life that she became gothic, and converted to Buddhism (because she wished that she was dead, and could be reincarnated). She is voiced by Crispin Freeman, and she looks just like Mikuru Asahina from Haruhi Suzumiya. The next and final main MS is...*drumroll* *dramatic silence*_

_...Rambo Crash! Believe it or not, that guy mentioned in the previous paragraph was not Rainbow Dash, that was Ditsy Doo, and she wanted to get revenge on Fluttershy for being crazy. Anyways, Rambo Crash is the most badass dude that you will ever meet in your life. She is actually a spy from another nation, and she came to Celestia to find important information on the place. To make the job even easier, she had ESP, so she could read Equestria's mind and figure out what she needed to know. In more interesting news, it turns out that Rambo Crash's father was a police officer. He committed suicide by tripping and falling out of a window like a boss, but Rambo did not let it get to her. She was able to retain her manliness despite having no fatherly figure, and she became gothic just because she felt like doing it, not because of a tragic event._

_She was notorious for crashing parties, and being the one who gets things on in the house before the party even started. She believes that she is the greatest thing to have ever existed (which is true in case you couldn't tell), and will one day be even greater than the gods themselves. She is the most manly guy on the show, even surpassing Rarity in that category. She is voiced by Sylvester Stallone, and she looks just like Black Star from Soul Eater. Now, it's time for the minor characters. The first ones on the mic are..._

_...The Beauty Mark Crusades! The Beauty Mark Crusades were a group of posers, that consisted of three members, Apple Floss, Spoonaloon, and Dumb Belle. They all used to be emo, especially Apple Floss, after her grandmother Granny Sith committed suicide by breaking her hips while trying to be gothic, just like Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies. She is Applejack's sister, and I probably should've mentioned this in her section, but I just didn't feel like it, so please don't mark me down._

_Anyways, it turns out that Apple Floss and their friends had tried to drown out their misery with iPods, Facebook, and emo music like My Chemical Romance and The Killers, but it didn't work. She and her friends had been brainwashed by Nabisco to try to get tattoes all over their bodies NASCAR-style, but they soon realized that they were wasting their lives away. They started to overcome their depression when they started to think that life actually had meaning other than being all saddy-waddy, and they started to become ambitious in their quest to discover the beauties of life which there aren't any, you stupid freaking posers (see, is that swearing?)! They eventually got so happy that they became preps, and converted to Christianity (the national religion of Celestia). They are all voiced by the same voice actor, Billy West, and they all look exactly like that poser goddess Haruhi Suzumiya. The next ones are..._

_...Celestia's rulers, Princess Equestria and Princess Canterlot! Equestria and Canterlot were the supreme overlords of the world, which they had ruled it for the past twenty years with an iron fist of steel. It turns out that the both of them were Japanese assassins. They committed homicide by assassinating the previous rulers of Equestria and Canterlot, which went very smoothly once they had gotten them stoned, and decided to take Equestria and Canterlot for themselves. The names of the two ninjas used to be Celestia and Luna respectively, but they had to switch their names around with the countries they had conquered because they needed to possess the names of the places they had founded (now it should make sense to you)._

_Anyways, for reasons I can't explain, they got so corrupt that they turned gothic, and converted to Communism. They began putting anyone who looked like they were questioning their power in the slammer, like the Great and Powerful Trekkie, who was jailed under the charge of treason for being too great and powerful. Equestria is also secretly trying to find a reason to capture Twilight Sparkle and keep her contained for knowing about "ze magiks". For the time being though, she is sending her death notes every week to warn her that she will one day find a reason. The two princesses always talk in silence using telepathy, just like with Rainbow Dash's ESP. Their inter-monologue is voiced over by Andrea Libman, and they both look just like the very lands that they rule over."_

_"The next MS is..._

_...Disco RD! It turns out that Disco RD is actually Rainbow Dash's disco crazed cousin. He had used to be gothic, but his father committed suicide by having a heart attack when he realized that life was nothing but a non-stop disco, like in that song "Violent Pornography" by System of a Down. Because Disco RD really liked death at the time, he grew a passion for disco music, and devoted his life to bringing the 70s back to Pony Hill. Being a relative of Rainbow Dash, he had mind powers, and was able to trick people into loving disco through the use of Oreo cookies combined with drugs from Applejack's store, "Applecrack and the Jack Dealers" (which I also should've mentioned in Applejack's section earlier, but I forgot, so just pretend that I did). He was planning to take over Equestria through interpretative dance, and the words that he had most commonly spoken to Celestia were, "All of your ally mind are belong to me" (see Teacher, I proofreaded the phrase, and none of the words are spelled wrong. I also proofreaded this entire essay, so it's not my fault if any of the words are spelled incorrectly. I deserve points for that). He was voiced by Tim Curry, and he looks just like Kira from Death Note. The next and final MS is... *extended drum-roll* *extended dramatic silence*..._

_...Spike, the baby DraconEquestria (that's a cross between a draconequus, a dragon, the land of Equestria, and everything, in case you didn't know). It turns out that Spike's parents had abandoned him shortly after he was born. They committed suicide in an indescribably suicidal manner soon afterwards because they felt bad for deserting him. He was adopted by Twilight Sparkle, and was raised by her for the first few years of his life. However, he eventually became an emo because he became depressed when Twilight started treating him like a horse, and he goes three ways, like that song "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. However, the burden of life soon became too much for him to bear, especially after a terrible incident had occured. *another extended drum-roll* *more dramatic silence*...Celestia had Twilight and Spike participate in a phone sex orgy with her and Luna (I'm calling them by their original names to avoid confusion, okay?) in order to get the juice (geddit?) out of Twilight!_

_Spike was so upset over what had happened that he decided to commit suicide. He learned that the only way to kill a DraconEquestria was with his tail (which was also a gun that could shoot bullets) or with Rainbow Dash's manly stallone, because no other weapon could pierce or penetrate his scaly skin. He decided that the first option would be less painful, so he shot himself in the chest with his tail gun forty-two times, and he died. But then, he came back as a ghost because he had forgotten to write Twilight's memoirs, which had made her very disappointed in him. He is voiced by Cathy Weseluck and... *final drum-roll and dramatic silence* he looks just like Kyon from Haruhi Suzumiya (because Spike + Discord= Kyon. Just put that there because I thought that would help with my math grades)._

_And that takes care of all the Mary Sue's._

_The moral of the entire show, as displayed by the character's actions, is that society basically sucks (see, is that a gothic view of something?)! If you want to see it for yourself, I'll let you know that it airs on Youtube and a channel called The Pub. Watch with caution though, for it's a violent pornography that shows the world for what it really is, a non-stop disco. That's about it, so have fu- Oh wait, (I interuppted myself while I was writing) there was one more character I forgot to talk about, and her name is..._

_...Derpy Hoops! Derpy Hoops is probably the most manly character on the show (excluding Rainbow Dash, because no one could possibly be manlier than her). She has a very similar appearance to Ditsy Doo, only more gothic. When she was a teenager, her parents committed suicide by accidentally dropping a piano on their heads, and she was forced to find work. She got a career as a basketball player for The Wonderfaults (unlike Ditsy's homie, Touched Down, who was a football player), and she also had a part-time job as a mailman. She had hair that was so long on the front that it went into her eyes, which was good, because it went very well with her cross-eyed look. She is voiced by Tom Kenny, and she looks just like a cross between Goku, Megaman, Phoenix Wright, Twilight Spockle, Twilight Sparkle, Applecrack, Applejack, Rare Jared Way, Rarity, Pimpy Pie, Pinkie Pie, Shy Sluttersly, Fluttershy, Rambo Crash, Rainbow Dash, The Beauty Mark Crusades, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Equestria, Celestia, Canterlot, Luna, Ze Korean, Zecora, Big Macintosh, Granny Sith, Granny Smith, B'loody Mary Blue, Blueblood, Trekkie, Trixie, the pegasus jocks, Ditsy Doo, Disco RD, Discord, Spike, the SOS Brigade from Haruhi Suzumiya (except for Haruhi because she's a poser), and (of course) Kyon, all thrown together into a paper bag._

_Alright, I'm stepping off the microphone now. Special thanks to all of my homies, and vive la revolucion! Hope you enjoyed this immaculately recorded interpretation, and have a great emo day! Epic pegasus wings!"_

The End

Don't rejoice yet, there's an epilogue too.


	8. Chapter 8

Epilogue

I was so happy that I had finally finished typing it at my desk. I squealed in a gothic tone as the papers were being printed out, and I was so excited that I just had to show it to my sexy friend Midnight before I turned it in. I came to his room and he agreed to read it. I had him sit down in a chair (there's no way he'd be able to take the epicness of my report standing up) and once he was finished with it...he dropped the paper in shock and proceeded to lift his hands up in the air and shout.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" he yelled, as the chair started to tilt over to the left. "Aaaah-AAAAAHHHHH!"

I was flattered. He had fallen off his chair, collapsed on the floor, and had done his best L Lawliet impression just for me!

"I've finally outdone myself!" I shouted with joy.

"Please...listen...to me...Mary..." said Midnight, who was breathing heavily. "Go to Wikipedia...look up My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and write this interpretation...for your sake and Twilight's..."

"Twilight-That's it!" I said excitedly as I ran to my desk. "I know what to do now!"

"Thank you Mary..." Midnight said before he lost consciousness.

"I'll write a paper for Twilight too to thank her!" I exclaimed as I went to Wikipedia and looked up MLP: FIM. "She may be a poser, but if Midnight thinks I should do something for her, then I'll do it."

I read the information on Wikipedia, and then I gasped. MLP: FIM was a cartoon that was animated in Flash, it had been airing on TV for a year (despite being really 80s) and was created by a woman named Lauren Faust! Also, my emo interpretation of the show was slightly different from the information in the article. Then, all of a sudden, I had another idea!

"I know what to write for Twilight." I said bursting with inspiration. "I'll write her an interpretation that is based entirely on the show! It'll be inferior to my paper because it won't take any liberties, which I did when they were necessary, and I'll get a better grade than her too!"

The next day...

I had given Twilight the paper I had written for her, and she read it over. She was skeptical about the idea of taking credit for it at first because I had written it for her (her modesty was very fitting, because no one could write a better paper). I insisted on her doing so though, and she did, because she agreed that the paper I wrote for her was pretty good (she should see my other one, don't you think?). I gave my teacher the gothic interpretation that I had written for myself, and once she was done reading it, she wrote something on the paper and then fainted. When I looked at the paper, my suspicions were confirmed as to why she fainted. I grabbed the essay and ran out of the class excitedly. Later that day, I spoke to Twilight, who was very happy.

"Mary, I got an A on this paper that you wrote," she said in disbelief. "You conveyed the characters and the message of the series surprisingly well. Maybe I've been wrong about you. I'm glad I told you about the show and tried to help you out."

"Thanks Twilight," I replied humbly. "But you haven't seen anything until you've seen my interpretation. I got a grade even better than an A. I got an AAAAGGGHHHH! That means I got an A that had capital letters and exclamation points added to it to describe how much more awesome it was than an A!"

"What?" Twilight replied in confusion. "Let me see that."

She grabbed the paper and scanned through it. Afterwards, she got down on the floor, put her left arm around her face, and started crying.

"Glad you liked it!" I shouted in response, knowing that she was just trying to get over the shock of how good it was. My depressing life was now happy for the time being, especailly now that I had interpreted a TV show in the best way I knew.

The True End of Special.

If you have any feelings that you wish to express on this nonsensical and insane mess of chaos that I wrote, feel free to express them. Thank you for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

Episode 6: Love's Second Gaze: Kaiser of the Error

One Sunday, I woke up in my room. It was morning. I was tired, so I went back to sleep. I woke up the next day, and it was morning again, so I decided that I needed to get dressed. I was feeling pretty tired, even though I had slept like a vampire in Dracula's castle. I had classes today, so I decided to skip them. I was feeling all languid and gothically depressed, and I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I wasn't myself. I also decided that I should devote the day to recovering from all the sleep, so I went to my closet and I got out some food that I had been storing in there in case of an emergency situation, like this one. I grabbed some boxes of gothic cereals like Franken Berry and Cocoa Puffs, and I also grabbed a box of raspberry donuts. I grabbed an oversized coffee mug that I had gotten from Hot Topic. It was a black mug with pictures of Black Sabbath and the rim was perfectly circular like the rim of a pentagram, which made it look more Satanic. I took the cup and all of the food to the cafeteria. It was empty, as it was 11:00 AM, and everyone was in class at the moment.

Anyways, I started to eat my cereal. I ate the Franken Berry cereal with berry juice (I was pretending that it was VAMPIRE blood and I was tired earlier, get it?) instead of milk, and I ate the Cocoa Puffs with mocha instead of cocoa. Once I had finished all the cereal in the boxes, I was less tired, but in the mood to have something sweet. I took a donut out of the box that had raspberry filling in it, even though I was pretending that it was demon plasma. I took a sip of coffee from my mug that was filled with so much coffee that it was dripping off the rim and down my arm. As I put it back on the table, I heard a voice.

"Hey," said the guy from behind with the ominous voice as he put his hand on the back of my head ominously, "there was something on your face."

I gasped. He could see that I had had something on my face without looking at it! Just then, he dunked my head into the huge mug.

"It was coffee!" he laughed in a sadistic manner. He proceeded to walk away chuckling at my displeasure as I got my head out of my cup.

While I was flattered that he was kind enough to point out that I had coffee on my face, I was also mad at him, for some of the coffee from the cup had rebounded and gotten on my pants!

"You preppy bastard!" I shouted at him as I got up, assuming he was a prep who was jealous of my attire. But to my surprise, I was wrong for once, for he was wearing a black Marilyn Manson T-shirt, black pants, black NIKE socks, black NIKE shoes, and had red hair thrown in for the mix. He also looked just like Black Star from Soul Eater!

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said sarcastically as he apologized, "did you not like getting that hot liquid splashed on your face, Countess Chocula?"

"*snicker* Um, what's your name?" I asked him as I giggled in a subtle manner, thankful for the compliment he had given me.

"Everyone up in dis motherfucking school already knew my bitch ass name," he said trying to be all hip for the young goths. "My name was Ace Kai! People called me that because I had a reputation for acing everything I ever did, even you!"

"You've even aced me?" I asked in surprise.

"Hell yeah, I had just cut my class when I had decided to go have aced some fine prostitute in the messed up hall!" he shouted. "Unfortunately, no one has called me by my real name in quite a while. They have all called me Demon now."

"Why do they called you that?" I asked trying to sound like an MC with speaking problems.

"Because they all knew that I'm a sex demon!" he exclaimed in a flirty manner. "And I was also a registered sex offender!"

"A sex offender?" I asked feeling more turned on than ever.

"Of course!" he said as he pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. "This paper was a certificate that stated that I could not help my sexual hormones when I was horny, and that I could have sex with anyone at anytime without any penalty. Hey, I couldn't help it, it's their fault for being offended by my questionable sexuality!"

"Well, I'm a sex demon too!" I roared flirtily, trying to gain a better reputation with him.

"Really?" he replied.

"Yeah!" I shouted. "I would totally do the kind of things you do if I had a certificate!"

"That was awesome!" he complimented me again kindly. "You know, you was pretty cool! You're the first hoe I ever talked to in this uncanny ass school who understood my way with words!"

"Thank you..." I said as I was blushing, having gotten to know this guy so well in only the first two minutes I had met him.

"Just to let you know," Demon said smoothly as he gave me a key attached to a keychain that said the words "I was your Mama", "my room number is on the second floor of this building, number 96. You're free to have came down any time, so that maybe we could put behind our pasts and have started the present. Peace has gone away, so long and good night, my favorite man."

"I'll have seen you then." I said as he walked away, admiring his qoute to that song, "Helena" by My Chemical Romance.

I couldn't believe it. This goth was like no ordinary emo kid I had ever seen! His speech, mannerisms, and personality were like Midnight's, MC Emo Cutter's, and Gerard Way's thrown together! I felt like I was falling in love for the second time. Just then, Midnight showed up!

"Hi Mary," Midnight said in a low voice, "I'm still suspended from my class with Professor Sniper for what I did with you, so I'm on break for an hour."

"Oh my goodness, that was terrible." I said sympathetically. "So uh, what are you doing right now?"

"I was just going to go back to my room, make some lemonade, and study." he told me.

"Oooh, can I join in?" I asked sexily, pretending his comment had sexual connotations.

"Sure, I guess." he replied.

"Epic wingz!" I shouted happily as I followed him back to his room. That talk with that sexy black star Demon had made me so excited!

End of Episode Six.


	10. Chapter 10

Episode 7: Know What You Read: Mary's Foreseen Perception

I walked back to Midnight's room in a seductively appealing manner, and Midnight opened the door. Things were going great. I had the perfect boyfriend, another perfect guy who I loved, and the perfect depressing life. For the first time in a long time, I felt that nothing could go wrong. When Midnight walked into his room, he took an instant lemonade packet out of his pocket, and poured it in a bottle of water. He shook the bottle of water up, and took a drink of it. He then took out an English textbook, and started to study it on the bed. I got even more excited as he demonstrated what he wanted to do to me.

"Oh Midnight, you sexy bomb!" I complimented.

"Um...thank you?" Midnight replied.

"I've had enough demonstrations though!" I spoke honestly. "I want to have some sweet lemonade now!"

"You can have some of mine if you really want it." Midnight said as he handed me his bottle.

"Oh thanks," I said as I quenched my thirst with the lemonade. "Now that I'm hydrated, let's have sex!"

"Wait, now?" Midnight objected. "But I want to study right now. Besides, I don't want to get in trouble again."

"But Midnight, I'm horny right now!" I justified like a little girl who just got a piece of candy stolen from her. "And right now is the perfect atmosphere for getting it on!"

"Fine," Midnight acquiesced, "class doesn't start for another hour anyways."

"Alright!" I said as I admired his complaisant spirit.

Midnight took off his pants and boxers. I took off my shirt, bra, pants, underpants, and everything that I was wearing enthusiastically.

"Let's get the nukes flying!" I shouted in a bombastic blast of tenacity as I pounced on him energetically.

Midnight put his choo-choo train in my rocket and we had sex just like in a preppy girl's nightmare (get it, because I'm a sadist?) The only thing that could make this experience better would be to have the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan playing in the background, because it summed up this scenario perfectly well.

"Oh Midnight, this is the greatest time of my li-" I interrupted myself because just at that very precise and exact moment, I pulled back Midnight's shirt sleeve, and saw something on his left arm that I had never noticed before. At first, I thought it was a marking he had gotten from being in a gothic cult but when I looked closer, I saw some articulate writing. Engraved on his arm were the sentences, "Draco "Heart Symbol" Charlie Sheen" and "Ace Kai Was Here". Through the clues that had been given, I was able to deduce what was going on. Midnight was having an affair with Charlie Sheen and my other love...Ace Kai! I was very angry.

"You dastardly bastard!" I shouted as I got out of the bed knowing the truth.

"Wait, what did I do?" the infidelic bitch known as Midnight replied as I put my bra and underpants back on.

"What did I do?" I exclaimed. "You mean, what the hell am I doing you motherfucker?"

"I don't understand, where are you going?" the incomprehensible buffoon asked as I stormed out of the room.

"To Demon's classroom, you perverted idiot!" I yelled at him as I left. "Go screw yourself, you probably have herpes now anyway!"

"Demon?" Midnight asked himself as he observed the writings on his arm. "She can't mean..."

"Wait up, Mary!" Midnight called as he started putting his underwear and pants back on. I didn't even waste my time putting my pants or shirt on, I was too mad to care. I was only bent on one thing right now, finding Ace! I spotted the hall monitor as I was marching through the halls angstily.

"Um...S-student ID please..." he asked me nervously upon notice, as he was probably turned on by my hot body. "N-no wandering the halls uns-supervised..."

"Where is Ace Kai?" I dictated to the preppily dressed authoritarian.

"He went to class just a few minutes ago..." he answered faintly. "If you're his classmate, I can give you the class number. It's..."

"Thanks, whatever, that's all I need to know!" I exclaimed as I dashed away with no time to waste gaining valuable information.

"Wait, it might be a good idea to put some..." he said as I left in a hurry. "...clothes on before you go there..."

Thanks to the hall monitor, I knew that Ace was in class now, but I had no idea which class he was taking at the moment. I realized that my only chance of finding him was through Jack Woodford's law of trial and error, so I went to every classroom door in sight and looked inside each one of them to find Ace. After many failures and gazes of jealousy upon my sexy body from the teachers and students alike, I finally found Ace's classroom. I barged into it, and found that poser Twilight and that jerk Ace Swift having a lesson with that snoopy teacher Professor Sniper with some other preppy students.

"Demon Ace Kai, you motherfucker!" I shouted as Sniper and the others stared at me with a lack of better knowledge on the seriousness of this situation.

End of Episode Seven.


	11. Chapter 11

Episode 8: None's Fair in Love: Mary's Great Justice

All the people in the classroom stared at me in confusion and possible jealousy of my brilliant dramatic entrance, all but Demon, whom had been sitting in his desk loafing prior to my entrance. He began to laugh loftily at my remark.

"Ha ha ha," he taunted meanly at my harsh but accurate accusation, "I'm a motherfucker, you said? But I thought I had used to be your mama, so I guess all I'm guilty of was jerking around with myself."

"That's exactly what I mean!" I shouted in defense. "You're such a jerk for the things you've done, you're even a jerk to yourself!"

"Mary Doo!" Professor Sniper exclaimed angrily. "What is the meaning of these inconsequential claims? It's one thing to barge in here unprecedented showing everyone your uncovered clearage, but insulting a fellow classmate with such derisively spoony poetry is a serious offense in this school. Explain your rudeness to the class!"

"I think I should explain something about this sir, my handsome sire," said my friend Dark D'emonic Slit, who was sitting behind Demon. "My friend Mary here is very poor at words, poetry, and the covering of a woman's body. She probably doesn't know that this is inappropriate behavior. Just let her be."

"But...she's not even a part of my class!" Professor Sniper replied. "And any sort of poetry used as a form of mockery or ridicule towards a fellow classmate is against school rules!"

"Please my overly good man," the articulate Dark Slit complimented sexily, "at least let Mary explain her motive to the class like you were planning. Even if her reason for doing such a thing was poor, she doesn't know any better, for she has the heart and mindset of a child."

"...Maybe you're right," Sniper agreed to my surprise, "maybe she really is a child at heart. Very well then Mary, you will be allowed in this classroom to speak to Demon for a few minutes, regardless of how childish your motives are."

The mendacious Dark Slit gave me an honest to goodness smile. I appreciated her lying to Sniper about me being a child at heart (which is anatomically impossible, because I'm a teenager, and my heart would've had to have grown a considerable size since I was a child) and giving me a chance to speak to that self-loving, monogamous fucker (because he screwed himself, see what I mean?) Demon. It didn't come as a surprise to me though, for just like MC Emo Cutter, Dark D'emonic Slit and I have been friends for quite some time. Her real name is Arnon Luxus (a luxurious name, don't you think?) and two years ago, she was orphaned. Her mother committed suicide by banging her head against her computer desk after reading an ominous and foreboding prophecy about the Luxus family on Encyclopedia Dramatica, and her father got really depressed about the situation and soon followed suit. The darkly dramatic and overly serious prophecy was written by none other than the infamous outlaw, Trolliam Thee, a soothesayer who could read people's minds and see into the future, just like a real fortune-teller. He also had mind powers (in case you couldn't tell) that had caused him to go mad with power, changing his humble life as a novel writer who wrote books for the company known as TropeCo (AKA Trope Company). I just wanted to address the issue now so that if I elaborate on it later it'll make sense and be less redundant because it will sound less redundant. Anyways, since I had no time to reiterate Dark D'emonic Slit's backstory to myself, I walked up to Demon Ace Kai.

"Demon Ace Kai, you jerking mother!" I said without swearing to keep up appearances with Professor Sniper. "I can't believe you cheated on me with Midnight and Charlie Sheen! I thought in the five minutes we were together this morning we were in love!"

"Um...who was Midnight?" Demon replied using his slick knowledge of the past tense to play dumb.

"I think she means me," said Eddie Murphy, who had dictated Midnight to walk in the room and say that at this precise moment by the Law of Murphy's Sod. He was carrying some clothes for me to wear, but I was too mad to care.

"Wait, she MEANT you Justin?" said Demon as he corrected him stupidly.

"Ace, can you please explain to her why you wrote this on my arm?" Midnight requested as he pulled back his shirt sleeve which revealed the preppily Satanic tattoe.

"Oh, I remembered," Demon said as memory SERVES him, "you were the guy I had requested to have sex with using my sex offender license two weeks ago, so I could've memorized my favorite lines from that movie Hot Shots!. I left that writing on your shoulder to be courteous, so you wouldn't have forgotten the experience!"

"Somehow, I don't think that was necessary..." the drafted Midnight pointed out. "But that was before you even met me Mary, so how could I or...Demon have had an affair while we were with you?

"I'm confused!" I proclaimed, hoping the class was on my side in this little predicament. "What if this is all just an elaborate trap by some evil force to take away my drugs?"

"Wait...drugs?" Professor Sniper said with a suspicious tone in his voice. "You mean..."

"Hold it!" objected a familiar preppy voice who had taken that comment of mine to heart. I turned to the back of the classroom, and saw that the voice belonged to...Twilight!

"So I was right!" Twilight yelled slamming her right hand on her desk. "That night in the parking lot...you were doing drugs!"

"Twilight, what are you doing here?" I protested. "Why have you concealed your presence until now?"

"I wasn't hiding, I've been in this class since the beginning of the semester!" Twilight argued. "And I kept quiet until now because I thought no one would believe anything I said about you since the school staff somehow failed to find drugs on you after that report I made!"

"So you were the poser who made that report! So I was doing drugs," I confessed with a smirk on my face, "it's just too bad you can't prove it!"

Twilight and the rest of the class were completely silent, and began staring at me, knowing that I had won. But just then, I noticed that Sniper was shaking his fists and muttering something under his breath.

"The only student..." Sniper said in rage, "MARY DOO! With that now confirmed charge against you, you are officially the only student who has ever come to this school and not only failed all her classes, but has broken THE THREE MOST MAJOR RULES! YOU ARE EXPELLED! LEAVE THE SCHOOL PREMISES RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"Seriously?" I asked not knowing what I had done wrong.

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A JOKE TO YOU!" Sniper yelled as he slammed both his fists on the teacher's desk, decimating it with his rage in a cartoonish way. "JUST GET OUT OF HERE! JUST DISAPPEAR, DISAPPEAR NOW!"

In fear, I ran out the door, leaving my lecherous lovers behind. As I left the school, Principal Dumb Billy Dork walked in to the classroom as Professor Sniper was trying to regain his breath.

"Oh hello Mr. Dore," Sniper said as he turned and saw the principal, "I was just teaching the class something."

Meanwhile, I was so sad about what had happened, I couldn't believe it. I went back to the place in the forest-like area where my car had crashed and Midnight and I had nearly gotten killed to get a sense of nostalgia. I put my head up against one of the trees as I started to sing the untitled song by Simple Plan titled "How Could This Happen to Me" and then proceeded to cry.

End of Episode Eight.  
Reviews will be appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

Episode 9: Nonparallel and Unsymmetrical: Mary's Decision

I continued crying against the tree as I began to reminisce on what I had experienced with Midnight and Demon. I couldn't believe those two illiterate (because they're dumb for being stupid and mean) morons had betrayed me and had went so far as to taking away the parallelism of my symmetric life. Just as I began pitying those fools in my self-pity, I felt the wind flowing by me faster than normal, and turned around to an abnormally peculiar sight. It was a terrifying troll and the same man who had gotten my friend's parents killed (see, I told you this information was important) flying towards me using his telepathy (he's such a good esper that he has telekinesis as well) to levitate himself. It was...Trolliam Thee!

"Oh my way!" I cried while running away in fear in my own personal fear.

"Burn!" Trolliam Thee shouted randomly as his unprecedented command impeded my escape by causing me to freeze in fear. As he swooped towards me, I turned around and faced him, knowing I only had one chance against him...

"Waffles!" I bellowed unexpectedly as he stopped dead in his tracks and landed on the ground, forgetting that he could read minds for a second.

"You like pancakes?" he asked, confirming my plan had worked, for random chance was in my favor.

"Destructive kick of decimation!" I shouted as I punched him in the face with a fist hard like a frying pan instead of kicking him.

"YYYYYEEEEESSSSS!" he cried in pain as he fell to the ground knowing that my troll logic had been proven more rational than his.

I tried to run away, but then I stopped when I turned around once more and paused at the site of his nose bleeding and him squealing with joy in his pain.

"Oh yes!" he yelled as he put his left hand in his pants and started rubbing his stomach with his right hand. "You ruined my face, my special place, and it feels like you just touched me with a demon's grace!"

It hurt me to see the sadomasochist villain in pain, and even though I'm a masochist, I stopped thinking about my own pleasure in order to help him.

"It's alright," I sympathized as I helped him get back on his feet, "your face looks better with your bloody nose bleeding all over it. It signifies true depression and self-destruction, two qualities a true female goth should look for in a man."

"Thanks for helping me out of my phase," said the grateful fiend, "you've done me a nice favor. Now let me repay you properly...by having you do me another favor!"

Trolliam used his hands to pull a gun out of the special places of his pants (his pockets, you perv), and pointed it at my chest. I put my hands up in the air in fear as not even talking nonsense would get me out of this one.

"You shall pay me for the payment I just received in proper currency, death, for I am a Death Dealer," the criminal snickered like a crook. "I will get what you owe me...the death of your boyfriend, Demon Ace Kai!"

I froze in fear again as I got a chilling feeling of icy frigidness down my cold spine.

"How...did you know that that vile devil was my former lover and soulmate for all eternity?" I asked the telepathic mind reader.

"I have telekinesis, you worthless incarnation of frivolous stupidity, of course I'm intelligent enough to know what you're thinking!" he said as frustrated as a professor trying to teach a ditzy child that two plus two equals four equaled four. "And your buddy of an eternal boyfriend Demon must die!"

"But...why?" I asked in confusion. "Sure he's an immoral, detestable, profligate traitor that the world (AKA me) could do better off without, but that doesn't explain why you would want him dead."

"No...you don't understand just how evil he really is..." Trolliam replied in an ominous tone, "he isn't just a lech...he's also a con-man! I'm the one who's been selling him all sorts of merry doo-hickeys to support his very crazy sex life for the past month that he's been attending this school, and instead of legally paying me with death or even a check and a form, he paid me in illegal currency...money. With all the things he purchased from me...do you know how long it took me to count all of that cash?"

"Oh my Satanic God, that is so wrong," I replied in a shocked tone. "But...how am I supposed to kill him? Murder is almost as great of a crime as the annoyance he caused you, I don't know if I can do it..."

"What?!" Trolliam shouted in surprise. "When did I say that?! I just needed you to make an accident happen that would kill him, or convince him to kill himself. Geez, I'm only responsible for the deaths of innocent people, I'm no killer."

"But...I also got expelled from school!" I argued. "There's not a chance they'll just let me back in if it's to convince a student to harm himself!"

"Heh heh, my troll logic dictates that that's for you to figure out Mary," he said with an illicit smile, "because I had already decided beforehand that if you didn't kill Demon...I would be so frustrated that I would get your other boyfriend Justin killed instead!"

"No!" I shouted in objection. "There's no way you would allow your emotions to interfere with your own plan!"

"Oh yes I would," he responded ingeniously, "because I'm evil! I let my emotions control me all the time, no matter what the circumstance!"

"You incomprehensible bastard!" I yelled at him angrily with emotional prudence.

"Say whatever you want," Trolliam said conclusively as he gave me the gun, "because it won't matter. This will end with either you making Demon fall on his own gun, or Justin falling on something hard instead. The choice is yours, you undecisive fool!"

He then used his telekinetic powers to fly back to his lair. I was so nervous now I had no idea what to do. With my love life ruined, my dying academic status dead, and with an impossible decision that I had to make, it seemed that there was no way to get out of this checkmate, this game that I had lost...until suddenly...Justin (I don't want to say Midnight anymore, mind you) came into the forest!

"Oh hello you jerky meanie," I said to him rudely, "what do you want?"

"Mary..." Justin said solemnly, "even after everything you've said and done, I just can't find it in me to abandon you."

"You may still care about me," I replied in an ambivalent manner, "but I was no longer concerned with neither you or Ace Kai after what happened. Just leave me alone."

Justin didn't respond, but instead held out a piece of paper.

"What is this?" I replied while looking at the paper. It was a sex offender registration form similar to the one that Demon had showed me earlier...only it was in my name.

"Take that," Justin said calmly as he told me to take the form. "Ace Kai wanted you to have this. Your expulsion from school has been revoked, all thanks to Ace who showed this form to the principal that he was going to give to you as a present. Before he went into class today, he signed a copy of his own form in your name. And since registered sex offenders can't be charged with offenses regarding sexual assualt or illegal substances, your name is cleared."

"But...why would Ace do that for me?" I asked.

"Ace only fills out those forms for the people in school he really likes," Justin explained, "which would probably explain why he never gave one to me, even though I would've had no use for it..."

"So...Ace really is in love with me..." I said in disbelief, "and that time when he had sex with you just to memorize those quotes...meant nothing."

"So...now do you understand?" he asked.

"Oh more important than that, I forgive you!" I said while hugging my atoned lover happily while thinking of that gothic and depressing rap song "Forgiveness" by Eminem. I couldn't believe it, my long broken love relationship was now abruptly and conveniently fixed! But it wasn't over yet, for I still had a life-and-death decision to make...the decision of the fate of my two no-longer ex-boyfriends, Demon Ace Kai and Midnight!


	13. Chapter 13

Episode 10: The Mistake Leads to Tears: Mary's Miserable Music

I had so many conflicting feelings to feel, I didn't know what to think or fight anymore. Either I would have to lose Demon, or I would have to lose Midnight thanks to the unfair offer Trolliam Thee gave me. How in Hades' name did I end up in Morgan's Fork just by getting spoony with someone? Speaking of musical instruments of food (you can make music with forks and spoons if you get the proper tune and instruments), the melancholy caused by this depressing situation had given me musician's block for my depressing emo music. Oh, you didn't know? I've been in my own band since after I was musically inspired by my relationship with Midnight, and I help make music. I have such a wide array of diverse and constantly changing emotions, I would be foolish to not try to change them into some kind of harmonic tune.

Anyways, a few days after my expulsion from school was revoked, I went to the upstairs dormitory with my gothic band, Demons Have Cries (named thus so to show that we demons have feelings to in our endless pain and tears on earth), to make some music with the other members, Demon, Midnight, and Dark D'emonic Slit. Actually, just Dark Slit, as Midnight didn't want to rehearse today because he was rightfully depressed (the privelidge of being my boyfriend is both a noble and emotionally exhausting effort) and Demon was taking a bathroom break on the sidewalk (he doesn't think it's right to hide his private activities from all the girls he loves). Since Midnight was our song writer, and Demon played all our instruments (he's ambidextrous in more ways than one), all I could practice was singing. Since we didn't have any instruments or lyrics, all I could do was sing from my heart, and all Slit could do was sit around and study my voice, for she couldn't do anything since she was retired from playing the instruments.

"That's enough, Mary," said Dark Slit, "you don't have to sing anymore, you can take a break until Demon gets back."

"But I have to sing!" I yelled like I would in a microphone as I grabbed the microphone despondently. "Every second counts, and we can't let the bathroom interfere with our lives!"

"Fine..." Slit said reluctantly. "I don't get paid enough for this..."

I was starting to get a little frustrated at Slit. She knew that people around the school were saying good things about our music. They were saying that we sound like a seriously written version of "The Best Song" by Jon la Joie (which is good, because Jon la Joie is really good and funny, so we're even better than that if we take our music seriously), so there was no excuse for the lack of motivation. She was also well aware that I was suicidal, so I had to take the time I had seriously. Only recently, all of my suicidal attempts didn't kill me, even though I'm pretty sure they were successful. I guess I couldn't die by suicide now because of my newfound powers, so I guess that meant that Midnight would be safe too. If only I knew what was about to happen...

Since Midnight hadn't written a song for us, we had decided to do a remix of the My Chemical Romance song "The Ghost of You". I knew I couldn't make the song itself better by changing the music, so I tried to use my singer powers to make the singing in it more emotional. Because there was no crying in the music video (only someone bleeding) I decided to cry and bleed while I sung. As I yelled into the microphone while I cut my face with a razor, something felt...wrong. Something felt...painful. I couldn't shout and cry properly from the pain of the face wound as the wound of my heart was too great. Ultimately, I burst into tears.

"Mary, what's going on?" Slit asked in a concerned voice as she walked over to me. "What's wrong?"

"You don't understand!" I shouted. "If I told you, you wouldn't even want to know!"

"Mary, I want to know as much about you as possible," she replied. "I might not understand, but I will care."

"Well...since you put it that way," I prepared to tell her the truth, "I'll..."

"Hope I'm not interrupting the peace!" Demon shouted as he returned from the bathroom with Midnight wrapped around his arms. "Sorry I took so long, I was coming back from the sidewalk when I heard this dude monologueing to himself in his room. I didn't want the poor loner to be all lonely, so I brought him with us to practice."

"But I thought I said I didn't want to prac..."

"Don't push yourself to lie to yourself!" Demon laughed in a sadistic manner as he covered Midnight's mouth. "You know you want to be with us."

"Can you two please go away for just a minute, I was about to have a private conversation!" I exclaimed unhappily. "Go behind the walls outside the room if you must."

"You heard her Justin, let's go behind the walls," Demon snickered. "You know what they say, the walls have eyes, but they certainly don't have ears."

"Thank you," I said as they left the room and Demon cupped his ear against the wall. "Now Dark Slit, you might not believe what I'm about to tell you, but I'm being hunted down by a troll! His name's Trolliam Thee, and he wants me to kill...I mean GET Demon killed! And if I don't have him dead, then he'll get Midnight killed instead! What am I going to do? How am I going to tell them? No, I can't tell them! I'm not going to respond to that lunatic's demands! Sorry Midnight, I'm going to have to ignore the problem and hope for the best! You understand my reasoning right, Slit?"

Slit didn't say anything, she just hung her head low and walked out of the room and down the hall back to her room.

"Well, she didn't give me any advice," I said in an understanding voice, "but at least she showed she understood my reasoning by ignoring my problem."

"Why...didn't...YOU TELL ME?!" Demon shouted as he and Midnight stood in the door way. "That bastard is fucking crazy! Have you ever heard of insane troll logic, he's going to have us killed no matter what happens!"

"But-but...HOW DID YOU HEAR ME?!" I bellowed as he ran down the hall frantically in a panicky manner. "Walls can't feel noises and the emotions in people's voices, they're not plants!"

"I guess you...really don't need me Mary." Midnight said sadly as he walked down the hallway despondently.

"Midnight, NO!" I called out for him, but it was too late. I had assumed that I would never see him again, but I had assumed wrong. For I didn't know at the time, but an evil plot in the school was being planned like an artificially created plant that needed to be planned with science before it was planted in a garden...

Meanwhile, Slit was in her room calling someone on the phone.

"She's not going to agree to your demands," she said sinisterly, "shall I call the assassin?"

"Of course," Trolliam said on the other line, "the assassin will certainly get his job done...I'm certain about it."

Later...

For the next few hours, I sat in my room crying with nothing better to do than to feel depressed, when suddenly, Principal Dumb Billy Dork came into my room.

"What do you want?" I asked. "I have nothing to do, and I want to do nothing after what has just happened!"

"Um...please come with me...to Justin's room..." he said in a worried tone. "Something terrible has happened..."

"Fine," I agreed, "things can't get worse after terrible (nadirs are pretty terrible) anyways."

Dumb Billy gulped and sweat trickled down his face as he led me to Midnight's room and opened the door. As we entered the room I was shocked to see that the room was trashed, there was blood on the walls, there was a bloody knife on the bed, and worst of all, the window was open.

"From the looks of it, it appears that...Justin cut himself, and then jumped out of the window to commit suicide..." he said as he covered the back of his head with his hands and turned his face away. "She is never going to fall for this..."

"It can't be...NO, NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Even with his newfound powers, he found a way to defy the impossible!" I shouted at the unbelievable truth of this antilogic. "My life is OVER!"

End of Episode Ten.


	14. Chapter 14

Episode 11: The Lone Wish: Mary's Final Tears

I continued to look at the room with absolute horror of the horrifying nadir scenario. Midnight was dead...this wasn't like the time where I committed suicide, this time it was truly over!

"IT'S THE END...THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD!" I shouted as I ran out of the room and into the hall, knowing that since the world revolved around me, the end of me would be the end of my world. As I left though, a certain Billy peered out of the room...who might that joker be?

"I did what you wanted..." Dumb Billy Dork told a batlike silouhette of a man of darkness that materialized out of the floor and into my girlfriend Dark Slit. "Now please let him go!"

"Not just yet," the catty Dark Slit pointed a gun at him. She was in charge, as she had him cornered like a mouse, the rat she is. "I still have more uses for him, but for now, why don't we just sit tight in your office and discuss some arrangements...heh heh."

Even if I had known what was going on in that room as I ran through the school, I wouldn't have had time to deal with it, for I was about to meet another black and white chicken that changed his mind in times of different weather. When I ran down to Demon Ace Kai's room to tell him the dark news, he was coming out with a suitcase, and I bumped into him while we fell to the floor in the unappealing manner if you know what I mean.

"Agh...ugh...Mary, what are you doing?!" Demon asked in frustration as the suitcase burst open and papers flew out. "Why were you coming down the hall that fast?!"

"What do you mean why, I'm depressed! If I don't move from my problems fast, how will I solve anything?!" I made my case as the inadequate case showed me something worthy of attention. I grabbed one of the papers that had the words "Suicide Note" written on the top of the page.

"This...this is what all of the identical pages read!" I bellowed as I hastily grabbed many of the rest and read them. "Demon, what's the meaning of these words?!"

"What I mean is something that's none of your business!" Demon shouted like a boring old business man in a meeting as he compiled the papers, put them back in the suitcase, and stood up. "I had a good run with you in many senses Mary Doo, but I'm just not the guy who's going to be there for you when things go wrong! And face it, one day, you'll have to get over losing Midnight!"

Just as I was about to forget about Midnight, Demon's advice made me remember something...

"You were never there for me..." I realized something horrible about my so-called boyfriend as I stood up. "You weren't there when Midnight broke up with me! You ran away like a coward before our relationship was terminated, so how could you have possibly known how I feel right now?!"

"Well I um...I know I'm a bad lover," Demon failed to make the confession, "but I'm a good listener, I could've known what you felt!"

"No, you didn't listen...you're a mind-reader!" I grasped to the truth. "Your suitcase is full of notes and you have telekinesis because you're in league with Trolliam Thee!"

Demon completely froze up, and his fiery attitude disappeared. I'd hit the nail on the head with an ice pick.

"What do you have to say for yourself..." I pressed him, knowing that my messy process had gotten the job done. "...you traitorous tattletale!"

At that moment, Demon hit me in the face with his suitcase, and I fell to the ground facedown, shocked at his unsuitable behavior.

"Why? Why? WHY?!" Demon cried, as he ran down the hall, leaving only one more thing left to see before he left my sight...a suicide note that he forgot to pick up. As I picked it up, I peered into Demon's room out of curiosity. It looked like he was X-ing out a part of his personality, as he had thrown Playboys, cigarettes, and copies of erotic movies like Twilight (it's basically Nightdreams only with a teenage girl) into a wastebasket and had set them on fire. I walked along the hall aimlessly with the suicide note in hand, knowing that there was only one aim left to take now...an aim at my already dead heart. As I left to return to my room though, the wastebasket fell over and the fire got on the floor, but the fire didn't spread across the floor...It only incinerated the waste, as it kept burning and growing stronger...

In Mary Doo's room...

"It's time to end this..." I opened up the metallic heart-shaped box that I had used to store my drugs in, but I had replaced the drugs with a knife. "You can't cut drugs, but the sweetest sugar for an emo like myself is a cut to the body..."

This was just like that night of the first suicide. I played the same song as last time, that gothic song "The Anthem" by Good Charlotte, and played the same movie as last time, "The Nightmare Before Christmas". The only difference was that this time, there were no stakes. I had no guardian, no boyfriend, and no one was coming to save me just like last time. I could only hope there was no phoenix this time, and if that I put enough time and effort into doing this, I would succeed and defy what I thought was impossible.

"But I'm not fooling around any more, I was cut, bruised, and burned after my first suicide..." I reminisced upon my recent effortless suicide attempts and the injuries I sustained, "but I never took an actual stab at my problems since then...because I thought I was in love."

I looked at the suicide note again, and tossed it aside.

"I don't need to tell anyone how I feel any more," I prepared to stab myself in the heart. "The actions my so-called lovers took were louder than their words, I don't need to make my words louder than my actions, because this is the ending!"

As I swung the knife towards my heart, something unexpected happened. Blood was all over my hand...blood that had come from an injury on my hand!

"AAAGGGGGHHHHH!" I cried as I dropped the knife in pain and clutched my right hand, as I looked down and noticed a possible culprit for this crime against my humanity...a rock. "How?! How did I...What the..."

I turned around, and noticed that my window was broken...and someone was standing there with a camera on a ladder looking through the window that was now shattered pieces and air.

"Um...hello." said the true culprit who put the rock up to his task. "I hope that you understand...I'm just an assassin who was sent to spy on you, I couldn't just let you kill yourself..."

"An assassin?!" I shouted, realizing the truth seeing what he did to me. "Now I understand alright...you were trying to create an impediment for me when I was going to kill myself, the time I was most off guard! SO THAT YOU COULD KILL ME!"

"No, I wasn't ordered to kill you!" the assassin tried to explain. "My job was to spy on you and record suspicious activity without getting involved in it!"

I refused to listen to the assassinating liar. I kicked the metallic lock box that I used to keep my knife safe to the side while I ran towards the bookcase by my bed to grab the gun Trolliam Thee gave me.

"I've already decided that I'm going down," I told him as I pointed my pistol at him, "even if I have to take you with me!"

"WOAH!" he shouted as I opened fire on the window, and he used his killer's reflexes to run off the ladder and fall to evade.

"Duh luh, uh luh..." I was shocked as I looked out the window. He was still alive but wandering around in a dizzy state like a stupid dizzy bar attendant!

"I've swallowed enough tears to know that this shallow nonsense is a waste of time..." I knew the perfect way to finish him as I grabbed some tape that I had saved in case I got any cool posters from Hot Topic (they can find out themselves why I won't be at work any more). I took the hilts of both my suicide knife and my last resort knife that I had just used, and taped them together to create a dual-pronged spear!

"I'll see you again in hell..." I shot the assassin in the chest, and he fell to the ground coughing blood as birds flew over his head. "I should know, because I'll be there very soon!"

I jumped out of the window and held out my double-edged spear, but just as we were about to get stabbed, something happened. My wings opened up under the intense falling air, and everything shifted to a 45-degree angle as I got to the highest degree after the end. I felt like I was in...heaven.

"These wings are for...flying?!" I felt like a tool with the intelligence of a bird as I shut my eyes and glided through the air. I felt like singing an emo version of the song, "Stairway to Heaven", as I felt effortless in my attempts to reach the sky now.

"Maybe life isn't about dying...maybe it's about flying!" my life flashing before my eyes so whimsically made me feel like I was in a dark Disney movie. I felt like a flying squirrel with wings as I reached the forest and flew straight into a tree. I was content though, because I felt that in a strange way, my faith had been renewed in being able to see Midnight again...

The fire still burned...in a strange way.

End of Episode Eleven.


	15. Chapter 15

Episode 12: Rise from the Fire (Part One of Four): Mary's Reason How

There is only one way to summarize the four questions...

Before I fell...

Dark D'emonic Slit was still in her room talking to Trolliam Thee. The cutthroat neckhunters were still talking on the phone about the assassin they were going to send in to do their dirty work for them...

"The assassin already knows to kidnap Midnight in case what we expected to happen happens..." said Trolliam Thee, having made planning ahead part of his plan. "This could take a very long time."

"Understandably so...planning ahead is...tiring." Slit replied. "I even had to take into consideration to coerce the principal into helping us with our little trick. Daniel's going to get the easy job, delivering Midnight back to your esteemed abode of humility."

"If he's even thirty seconds late, I'll make sure to forgive him," Trolliam digressed. "It can't be easy considering that he has to pick up the "special footage" too. And my son is going to be over here tonight, so I'm going to have to hide it very quickly! Surely, all of that can not be easy..."

"Not is indeed." Slit agreed. "I've had the hardest work of all, pretending to be that ditzy mule's friend just so I could get close to OH MY GOD I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND SHE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

I just walked in the room and I was being yelled at on the phone! I wasn't even on the phone when she crossed the line...Slit was crazy in a way that I couldn't speak!

"I HAVE TO KILL HER!" Slit pulled a sharp knife out of her pocket and jumped towards me. "SHE HAS TO DDDDDIIIIIEEEEE!"

On another subject, I had narrowly escaped death and was slowly opening my eyes and awakening in my bed...

"...Dream." I said to myself as I woke up after I fell. "The pain...the misery...and even the death...it was all just a dream."

"Death is like a dream..." said a voice lying right next to me. "Though there is pain in the passing, we no longer have to feel it after we drift off to sleep..."

"I know, it's so motivating..." such words convinced a masochist like me to get as much out of pain before it was gone. "Wait a minute, those words...I recognize them...THEY'RE THE WORDS OF A SADISTIC KILLER!"

I'm a pessimist because I hate being right...the person lying in bed next to me was none other than the assassin.

"No, I slept with you!" I slipped out of the bed as I wanted to slap the slimy snake right after. "What the cuts is going on here, I thought we were dead! Explain to me right now you poisoning poser!"

The assassin looked...hurt as he got up from the bed and looked at me like I hadn't paid him enough true attention.

"Why...do you keep calling me a killer?" said the assassin sadly. "I've never hurt anyone in all my days as an assassin, the only reason I came here was to film you, get Midnight, and deliver everything to Trolliam."

"Don't take me for a naive child..." I refused to play his games. "I see through your word games, "get" is the child friendly way of saying you've destroyed someone! Nice try!"

"The man speaks the truth," said a familiar voice who walked into my bedroom. "Midnight is alive, Mary Doo."

The familiar voice was Twilight's! And like a nerd, she made an impossible analysis that was also impossible for someone to understand! I stared at Twilight searching for my own answer, but in my inability to speak, I couldn't think about what to say.

"...How?" I didn't speak my mind...For once in my life, I just wanted to ask...and learn about what I didn't know.

"Arnon Luxus, or as you like to call her, "Dark Slit"," Twilight explained, "is Trolliam Thee's right-hand man. She was sent to this school to spy on you, and when she found out that you weren't going to agree to Trolliam's demands, she hired the petty assassin, Daniel Gatherer, to kidnap Midnight. Trolliam Thee communicated his plans to Ace telekin...I mean telepathically when the deed was done, and threatened to kill Midnight if Ace didn't come back and work for him to pay what he owed...in check form somehow."

"...How?" I couldn't ask enough. "How do you...Know all of that Twilight?"

I just finished talking and a hand grabbed me from under the bed in a seductively subtle manner!

"Because I told her!" Demon Ace Kai's body appeared and was connected to where his hand was! It was him! "They say it's courteous to let a lady talk, and it's even more polite to let a lady do your talking for you!"

"Demon, you're back!" I exclaimed. "But...how?"

"Trolliam let me go after I delivered those notes to him in exchange for sparing Midnight's life," Demon replied. "I've never had to work under him day and night without rest, all he needed was confirmation that his status was in check. He's just a slave driver, he's not the boss of me or anything!"

"Oh, I'm so glad you came back for me!" I was glad he had returned out of his own free will. "But...how is Midnight...Doing? How was he kidnapped if I saw that he was...gone (it hurt to not say death the friendly way)."

"The reason it looked like he was..."gone"," said Twilight, "was because the assassin wasn't the only accomplice...Dark Slit manipulated the principal and forced him to go into Midnight's room and wreck up the place. If he hadn't agreed to the proposal, Trolliam would've demanded his death and Midnight's death."

"Don't worry though," Demon pointed at his chest with his thumb, "as long as the man of my house is alive, Midnight's going to be perfectly fine, even in the hands of a deranged criminal! Trolliam was a virility-lacking tool for letting me go, now I can make a plot against him with you to get him back!"

"And I learned all of this just by listening to you Demon..." I was amazed that what had happened after death had given me a gothic renewance in my life. "This feeling of love...is epic wingz!"

Demon had a look of strong emotion on his face as he blushed...he looked less emo than he had ever been.

"You...you're still flirting with me even after all this..." he gave me a stare. "Do you really...I mean...of course you love me! I've only saved you...one, two, three...numerous times now!"

Something felt strange...as he counted the innumerable times, he was counting on his fingers. How did he know about all those times I had died?!

"I'll be a deer and leave you here with the assassin so you can rest all you want," he said politely as he went to the door. "Come to my room whenever you want to get this rescue plot on!"

"...Something still feels odd." I thought. "He's quit being a double agent and yet he's still acting weird...what should I do?"

"Trust him..." the petty assassin Daniel finally spoke again. "Trust is the most powerful emotion. It either brings you great pain or great fulfillment, you can never know. What assures one of the two though...is friendship."

"Listen Mary," Twilight addressed me to do what I knew to do, "we're not friends, especially after what happened with that drug incident...but the reason I helped Ace save you isn't just because you're a person...it's because I trusted Ace when he told me that you could save Midnight."

"...Thanks Twilight." I felt something Twilight for the first time...I felt like something inside me was...changing. "I promise that I will get Midnight back! And I know exactly what to do!"

I jumped out of bed and walked out of my room feeling gothically exhilarated. Living through death truly had made me stronger, like in that gothic song by Kelly Clarkson, "Stronger" (it's gothic because it described the good things about being hurt). Listening to what everyone had to say had insured the truth of the revival of my lovers and I even knew now how to trust people who weren't my friends! That's why when I left the room, I didn't go straight to Demon, I went straight to visit Dark Slit's room. Even though her treachery had dissolved our friendship, it would still be the smart thing to do to listen to what she had to say, so I walked to her room and opened the strangely ajar door.

"Not is indeed." Slit agreed. "I've had the hardest work of all, pretending to be that ditzy mule's friend just so I could get close to OH MY GOD I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND SHE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

I just walked in the room and I was being yelled at on the phone! I wasn't even on the phone when she crossed the line...Slit was crazy in a way that I couldn't speak!

"I HAVE TO KILL HER!" Slit pulled a sharp knife out of her pocket and jumped towards me. "SHE HAS TO DDDDDIIIIIEEEEE!"

I ran away, but I ultimately fell to the ground again...

End of Episode Twelve.


	16. Chapter 16

Episode 13: Rise From the Fire (Part Two of Four): Mary's Reason Who

I had ultimately fallen to the ground...upon falling to the ground after tripping on the stairs that led down to the first floor. I was hurt all over, and I was at Dark Slit's unforgiving mercy. I was going to die again...the reason demons should be pitied is because their untimely fate is to be killed...It's almost enough to make you wonder...who is a demon?

"Ha ha ha, so you thought you could accidentally uncover my secrets? Well I'm afraid not..." Dark Slit boasted as she walked down the stairs with the knife still in hand. "The truth is, I was given strict orders by Trolliam not to kill anyone on my mission, so when he reads my mind and finds out what happened, I'll just tell him someone was disposed by a traitor!"

"How...how can you lie like that?" I asked in my pain at the bottom of the stairs. "It's obvious it's noone else...you are my true traitor!"

"Fool..." she chuckled as she reached my body. "That's exactly why that ruse will work, because this is the real world! A world that you never knew, and a world you'll know even less about where you're going!"

She leapt towards me, raised the knife, and plunged the knife into my heart as she landed on me. It didn't just create feelings of pain though...it created feelings of...nostalgia.

I remembered what happened three months ago...I could now remember my very first death in a gothically vivid way. After the steak knife sunk into my heart and I died, I could feel someone on top of me, forcefully putting their vital fluids inside of me. And as they entered, they hurt because they were made of fire...I know the creature who brought me back to life was a phoenix, but even with my lack of experience in life's prep school (I don't think I need to explain why I lack experience), I knew the only creature that could bring such pain that renewed was...a man.

"I'll leave it like this," Slit relented from her killing, leaving my corpse alone. "Don't worry, you'll join your friends very shortly...seeing as it won't be long before they find out about it! Ha ha, ah...I wish I had a friend like Ace Kai..."

"And I wish you were my enemy..." said a voice as fire began to form out of the floor behind Slit. "So I wouldn't have to worry about being so rude to you!"

"Wait a minute...that voice...it belongs to...that fire behind me!" Slit exclaimed as the fire slowly turned into a phoenix! It lashed out against Slit by exposing its wings which concealed a secret weapon...healing ash!

"What's happening to me?!" Slit was paralyzed with fear as the ash got on her face and sunk into her mind. "I feel more...mentally adjusted."

"That's what you deserve for being so crazy, you're lucky I went easy on you!" the phoenix shouted as his wing became fiery with cold, gothic justice like the Fist of the North Star and he punched Slit in the face. "It must feel hard now though, doesn't it?"

"Your game is too difficult for me to understand!" Slit got up hard off of me and ran up the stairs. "I'm going to tell the principal that this school program is too adult! I'm going to get you expelled from here for that Ace!"

"Then do it..." the phoenix turned into a familar person with a familiar name... "I don't care what happens to me for doing the right thing because it's all about the principle!"

Slit ran off with her promise of revenge as the familiar person kneeled down to me and put his right hand where my knife wound was. Fire from his hand entered my body, and with inflammation coursing inside of me, I was starting to feel alive again. I opened my eyes and I was reborn!

"I knew it..." I looked down at myself as the wound was sealed. "The way I died helped me remember how I died... The phoenix that was on me was also a person, but...who?"

"Maybe the person who saved your life back then is someone who's saved your life more than an inumerable amount of times..." Demon smiled at me.

"You..." I said with disbelief. "But...who could make this possible?"

"A long, long time after life is over, there exists a place called hell, the home of the demons." Demon began a beautiful story. "All demons want is harmony for themselves, but a force in hell always ruins their chance for that...fire. No demon loves fire, it burns them every time it comes close to them, causing them nothing but pain. The demons literally weep for its pitiful existence, as they constantly cry over the fire, begging for it to go out. The fire eventually grew sad itself, and wished to live in a place where people like fire, the earth. Tired of being trapped to the ground, the fire took the form of a beautiful bird and soared through the sky, looking for someone to magnify her beauty upon. One day, she fell in love with a man, a poor man who had nothing left to lose until he met her. With the immortal power of the netherworld burned into her, she created a phoenix child with the power of healing and resurrection hidden in his wings...that was me. When I was old enough, my mother sent me on a quest to complete her achievement...to give a ruined person new hope. And after only a short time, I had already found the perfect person to renew, you."

"Even back then I was the perfect person..." I looked upon my greatness. "But I saw the phoenix turn to ashes and die...who could live after being burned to ashes like you were?"

"I am a mortal phoenix, but I have immortal powers," Demon explained. "You never swept up my ashes on the floor...which was a smart thing to do, because they cleaned themselves up. You were so excited over thinking that you were a demon that you didn't notice me reforming. I would've left after that, but when I overheard you thanking Hades instead of me...well, I didn't really feel that my job was done. I was worried that you would get yourself killed again soon, so I stayed close to you, and after that car crash with the drugs, I realized that both you and your friend were pretty ruined...so I stayed even closer to you in the form of a human. You just wouldn't let me complete my quest, doing crazy things to you two was the only thing that kept me sane...who would've thought that those things are what helped you see something in me?"

"I would..." I said with a smile. "...Because that who was me. It's thanks to you De-Ace Kai that I'm something that's even more beautiful than a demon. Together, we can become hellfire itself...we'll make demons cry tears of joy!"

I cried my own tears of joy as I hugged Ace. "Let's end Midnight's sadness once and for all!"

"Thank you..." Ace was stunned. "We're going to need some counseling first if we're going to be a help to a certain someone though, if you know what I mean. Follow me!"

So we went to the perfect counseler to receive guidance from, the principal, Dumb Billy Dork (he may be dumb, but he's the only thing close to a counseler we have, so he's perfect). Unfortunately, when we came into his office, that cheststabber Dark Slit was in there holding a gun to his head for some reason.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me the first time..." Dark Slit threatened as the principal had stopped filling out an illegal forum for an expulsion that could get around Ace's offender forum, as it wasn't of the law. "Expel those two or else I'll give you a very good reason to suspend me!"

"...No." Billy dropped his pen. "Faking someone's death is bad enough, but faking something that will actually hurt someone is unforgivable! I won't do this even if it means my death!"

"Then it looks like your death is your folly!" Dark Slit pressed her gun against his head. "Now fool, die!"

"NO!" Ace shouted and pointed his index finger. A small flame shot out of his finger as Dark Slit stopped and clutched her chest.

"Oh yes for not eating lunch earlier today, HEARTBURN!" Dark Slit dropped the gun and fell to the floor as she felt like there was a small fire inside of her. "It feels like acid, someone please put it out!"

"Thanks for saving me..." said Dumb Billy. "I'm so sorry about Justin, if you get him back, I'll make sure you kids have the right to learn for the rest of your lives!"

"We already have that right, because we've already learned what we must do to succeed!" I yelled with affirmation. "Right, Ace?"

"...You'll find out what to do on the way to Trolliam's lair." Ace answered as he opened up his wings. "Get on my back, I will show you how we're going to get there."

And when I sat on his back and grabbed his shoulders, I knew who was going to get us there. Ace opened the window in the principal's office and flew out into the sky! He was just like Ace from that gothic manga One Piece (it's gothic because it tried to teach people that pirates were actually good), there was nothing he couldn't do. If only I knew that our next conflict was going to be about what I could do...

End of Episode Thirteen.


	17. Chapter 17

Rise from the Fire (Part Three of Four): Mary's Reason What

I wondered exactly how we would have to take on our greatest nemesis as Ace Kai flew me through the dark sky to Trolliam Thee's lair. I had forgotten to retrieve my knives from fighting the assassin, so all I had was my gun, which was useless in a concept of masochism. I could tell this experience wouldn't be gothic fun...

"Are we there yet, Ace?" I asked nicely, tired of being patient.

"I'd say, that we're already halfway there!" Ace flew downwards without warning and landed us on a platform abridging from a spooky mansion. It looked like something out of a Dracula movie filmed in Transylvannia. "Welcome to Trolliam Thee's lair!"

"This is his hideout?" I looked around in confusion. "I thought we were only halfway there."

"Heh heh, this rescue is going to be so easy that once we've come here, we're already halfway done!" Ace boasted. "I don't even need to tell you about the strategy!"

"Ace, as much as I like your loud, rambunctious, and boisterous personality," I complimented him with kind big words to prepare for my complaint, "don't you think you're being a little too incorrigible right now? Trolliam could be here, and he might hear us!"

"You don't have to make yourself heard," Ace laughed. "The sky's dark and it's 11:00 AM in the morning! Trolliam Thee is downstairs in bed at this time. That's why he makes the whole house, even the sky outside dark!"

Now that I wasn't high anymore, I could now smell smoke in the air...I guess the sun really doesn't like Trolliam.

"But can't he still hear us?!" I shouted not wanting my cries to go unheard.

"Not over that noise!" Ace ignored my screaming and jeered at something in the back that I couldn't hear. He walked into the main room of the mansion and lit up candles around it with the fire from his fingers, which revealed something that I could now see...dubstep booming from a giant boombox!

"I don't hear any noise..." I wasn't in denial. The music was so bad, I didn't hear it...I blocked it out of my ears. Instead, I took a look at the Gothic architecture and scenery in this place, which was making the mansion look really emo. It looked like something out of a Dracula game programmed in Japan.

"You...don't think it's noise?!" Ace was unusually happy. "Then you're the perfect person for this next job! It's always great to find someone who actually likes dubstep, unless it's Trolliam. He listens to this every morning when he goes to bed, but right now, he's making a remix of it! He couldn't find any work for Justin, so he locked him in this boombox before his daily nap, hoping his screams would make the music even more pleasant! It failed miserably though due to how quiet that kid is..."

"That's so sadistic," I said emotionally, feeling the wordless rhythm. "Locked in that box with no music to listen to, it must've left him breathless...we have to get Midnight out of there!"

"I don't really understand your interpretation, but from the looks of it, it seems to be a good thing to base your indomitable spirit on!" Ace gave me a thumbs up. "To get Justin out of that boombox without turning the music off and waking Trolliam Thee up, you have to destroy the box very carefully by disassembling the back of it with this screwdriver! Once you've disassembled it, the whole thing will fall apart and Justin will be saved!"

I gulped as I reluctantly took the screwdriver and went to the boombox. Thankfully, there were only buttons on the top of the box, so I didn't have to worry about accidentally pushing them and causing everyone to die like in that gothic movie, "The Box" with Cameron Diaz. All I had to do was open it just like Pandora's Box, and we'd all be saved. As I unscrewed the corners of the back, the boombox fell and collapsed just like a cardboard box. The buttons snapped off and flew everywhere. Then, I saw the prisoner being held captive inside...Midnight!

"M-Mary?" Midnight gasped as he looked up at my face. "Y-you came here to save me? But I thought you didn't care about me..."

"Of course I care Midnight!" I hugged him warmly like I would hug a knight in shining armor. "You're my Care Bear that came from a Hot Topic store, not just a tool for me to toy with!"

And even though Midnight just stood there smiling with nothing to say, my heart grew twice the size that day with my two lovers back.

"As much as I don't want to throw the romance into the fray," Ace knew how to save our lives by interfering, "I have a feeling this isn't going to look like a scene out of a comedy movie very shortly...let's get vanamos!"

His native words for leaving had a lot to say, so we agreed to leave. But as I walked towards Ace, what I feared came true as I accidentally stepped on the play button. The button stopped the music even though the boombox was broken...it was an immortal boombox! Trolliam Thee heard the music that was no longer playing (in his eyes), and came upstairs just like what I feared. But what I feared is not what would shock me...it was what occured.

"What are you kids doing in here shutting off all the music?!" Trolliam Thee yelled as he banged on the floor with a broom. "I could hear your disruptive behavior from all the way downstairs! Don't you know that I need my beauty sleep to concoct these crazy plans for taking over the world and forcing people to commit suicide in my dream hotel?!"

"Wait...what?" I asked.

"Your plans were doomed from the start," Ace taunted as he pulled out a gun and pointed it at Trolliam. "I'll never work for you again, even though we both live under the same roof. Someone in your group is a traitor, and when I told him about the origins of his clan, he was glad to work for me any time and continue my mother's legacy!"

"WHAT?" I wasn't understanding.

"Your words may be that of the immortal, but they won't be remembered because they don't mean anything to me!" Trolliam replied. ""Mother" always loved you best...do you really think you can kill or even so much as threaten your own father?!"

"WWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTT?!" I didn't even know what to comprehend.

"I know you can read my mind, you know that I can't kill you..." Ace put his gun away. "But you can't read my heart...you've forgotten that I've always been set on another way of taking you down...the power of loyalty!"

Just then, a small pebble flew through the air as fast as a speeding bullet and hit Trolliam Thee in the forehead. I looked at the balcony and noticed someone climbing up a ladder that wasn't there before...it was Daniel Gatherer!

"When the target falls, every record gets set in the stone..." the assassin bowed his head.

"Y-Y-YOU..." Trolliam Thee died, and hereafter, he speaks his last words just like in the emo My Chemical Romance song, "Famous Last Words". "YYYYYEEEEESSSSS! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!"

"I KNEW A MORTAL LIFE WAS THE BEST ONE, BUT THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE ME! WHY THEY NEVER BELIEVED..."

"If only you hadn't been so disloyal to what your loved ones believed in..." Ace reminisced on how his loyalty to his mother and his friends saved him from conforming to Trolliam's ideals. "But that's just the tragedy, the important thing is that we've done it! We saved the day!"

Ace and the assassin did a victory dance in their teamwork effort as Midnight and I just stood there staring at them in confusion wondering what...

"...What?" Ace responded to our glares. "Didn't I tell you that it was going to be easy? Come on guys, let's go!"

So Ace flew me back to the school and Daniel used his assassin speed to get Midnight back to where he belonged in record time. When we got back, Slit had been arrested and taken away by the authorities. Billy Dore and the rest of the school greeted us happily in their relief as we came back! Billy Dore even prepared us a nice dinner to thank us for helping him, but I didn't come to it because I was very busy. I was preoccupied with resting in my room, trying to think about what this all meant. I tried to understand why...

THE END

_Of the show that is. The concluding epilogue shall rise!_

The Ending of Part Three.


	18. Chapter 18

Episode 15: Rise from the Fire: Mary's Reason Why

I was in my room after I retired to my room, for two whole months thinking...why was there some kind of reason for all this happening when I didn't get what it all meant? I spent the entire remainder of the school year lying around and thinking about all the difficult tasks I had to complete...dying, keeping a relationship with my first true love, dealing with betrayal, and thinking... Eventually, Midnight, Ace, and the assassin (who was allowed to stay at the school for his heroic duties) came to my room to check on me.

"Mary, you didn't come to class today or every other day for the longest time," said Midnight as he grabbed some papers off the floor with gothic drawings of skulls on them. "You've ignored every phone call from the teachers, and these absence warrants don't look like they've moved you much somehow. What's going on?"

"Don't tell me yous is going gone on graduation day!" Ace exclaimed, sporting his classic manner of speech that he'd regained. "If school just ain't gradding you right now, why don't you try to get into it at the ceremony tomorrow?!"

"This is the last moment," Daniel invoked a grim motivation, "surely you're at least going to do what you know you have to do at the last moment?"

"I did everything I needed to do far earlier than that..." I explained like a determined worker in my laziness. "I was motivated back then, doing a bunch of fun stuff with you guys while feeling depressed, it was the perfect emo life I had always dreamed of. But then...when that crazy troll came, all this drama, and fighting, and heroic tragedy-lacking romance ruined it. In reminscience, it was comical, but not Scott Pilgrim vs. the World comical, just silly in a way that didn't move me...I know there's a lesson behind all this, so why didn't it get to me? Someone tell me what the lesson was...why?"

Everyone stood still and quiet, puzzling and trying to solve the puzzle I had put for them in my mind until it was solved. And then, I figured out the solution when they told me...

"Mary, life is all fun and games," Ace told me, "but you have to learn that some games just aren't as fun as the others...I came to this school just to learn new things on my quest, but when I grew attached to you, I quickly learned how shallow that was... I taught you some serious shit because I wanted to share what I had learned with you."

"Mary, I thought you hated me when we first met," Midnight also reminisced about the better times. "You used me and got me into so much craziness all while acting like you loved me...but when you tried to stand up for me, I couldn't imagine that you were doing all these stupid things out of ill will. I realized that I enjoyed being around you, your stupidity is what formed a bond between us that can not be broken."

"Mary, I wasn't around for the good times, so I have no memories of you..." the assassin had no clue on how much of the past he had truly forgotten. "But your friends seem to believe that you're a good element in their lives...shouldn't the lesson to all of this be to use what you know to make that belief true?"

"So the lesson to this is the meaning of life?" I wondered. "I'll give it credit for being a lesson that I can understand, but this still doesn't change the fact that the glory days will never return...how can I live when I know that I have nothing to move onto in the future?"

"Mary, you need to whatever you want with your life," Ace gave me the best advice that I wanted. "If living in the past is what makes you happy then do it! You have plenty of time to do that, because the teachers want you to repeat the school semester! Not to mention that Justin and I still have a year of school left before we're too cool for it!"

"You mean..." my face contorted into the perfect smile of gothic emotion. "I can still..."

"You have a whole future ahead of you Mary, and if spending it not growing up is the reason you want to live, then that should be the reason why you live!" Ace rose me from the fire with his words that ignited a beautiful spirit inside of me. "Now Mary, spread your wings! Spread your immaturity to everyone you love!"

"Thank you guys!" I shouted as my wings spread out and went on fire. "Thanks to your beautiful words, I love everyone!"

"WOAH! AAAAAHHHHH!" Midnight yelled as he, Daniel, and everyone ran away as I flew through the school. "I guess there really is a reason we shouldn't take this seriously!"

_Mary Doo has finally found the reason why she should love her depressing life, and after an entire year of repeating school, her reason had been implemented into her friends. But that future is not our concern...what matters is that you know how this story truly ends. Your knowledge will be named...named after the characters' names, the names you will know how to fully pronounce and understand..._

Midnight...Justin Sohn

Twilight...Twilight Nere

MC Emo Cutter...Joy Springfall

Trolliam Thee...Richard Theesis

Daniel Gatherer...Daniel & Arnon of the Slit clan

Dumb Billy Dork...William Dore

Profesor Sniper...Leo Spyons

Professor McGoonyucall...Claire Donhold

Demon Ace Kai...Ace Theesis

Mary Doo...Mary Doom

_Mary Doom...Mary Wingz Doom...what do her friends say about her now?_

"I don't know why Mary hasn't talked to me in so long," says MC Emo Cutter. "Did I gain a bad rap with her or something? If that's the case, I'll give her a rap she'll never forget!"

"Mary caused so many problems at the school, but she sure fixed them!" says principal Billy. "I'm so happy that I don't need Nurofen anymore, why the stores were always out of it feels like a mystery now!"

"I never thought it would lead to this..." says Professor McGoonyucall. "Who would've imagined that girl would teach a teacher that the will of fire could be stronger than the power of love?"

"I've happily retired from teaching..." says Professor Sniper. "That girl showed me what I was not proud of being capable of..."

"The possibility of Mary ever learning her lesson is a mystery," says Twilight. "I guess I really am a nerd for not knowing the probability of that possibility..."

"YES!" inscribes Trolliam Thee's tombstone. "I know..."

"No matter how she lives..." says Daniel. "...that life is her legacy."

"I'm glad the advice that Mary took seriously is my best advice I can give!" says Ace. "That girl always makes me proud I forgot about fun for a while, cause now it's even better than I remember!"

"Mary is a special person and I love her very much," says Midnight. "If I had never been her friend..."

"You all made me immortal..." says Mary as she looks at everyone. "Because of me and thanks to me, you're all my mortal phoenixes!"

End of Episode Fifteen. Ending of Series!

Conflagrations!

_Congratulations, you truly are the fire of the world. Thank you for reading, always brighten your fiery spirit!_


End file.
